from The Paris Review (fall 2013)
poem found here
first lines:
Perpetual peace. Perpetual light.
From a distance it all seems graffiti.
explorations in punctuation and ideation
This poem offers a couple points for exploration and questioning. I'll just take a couple, one at a time.
(1)
Have you ever written a poem like this, that is made of short (often verbless) phrases which you want to keep separated in equal measure? Have you ever given serious play to the possibilities? There are actually quite a few. Here, the decision was to go with periods. But, since the poem moves to full statements at the end, it might have been possible to use semi-colons. (I am going to resist changing any wording or lines.)
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Perpetual peace; perpetual light; From a distance it all seems graffiti; Gold on gold; iridescent, torqued phosphors; But still graffiti; someone's smear on space; A name; a neighborhood; X; X was Here; X in the House. A two-handed engine Of aerosols hissing Thou Shalt Not Pass On fiery ground. A shot-down Aurora |
I stop it there because that's the first of the long statements, and the shift to a period seems justified. You have to recognize, however, that when the poem shifts to fuller statements separated by periods, it creates a difference between the weight of the elements of the first part of the poem and those of the latter. I wonder if it works to greater success killing the first letter capitals?
